When I wake up

When I wake up Every morning when I wake up if I don't jump right outa bed. I run the risk creating hell for myself in my head. I would lay there and start thinking about all my heart aches and hurts of self-loathing thoughts that keep me in bed and wishing I were dead. I may even just even fall into a fitful sleep. Well I have visions of Iof self-loathing dancing in my head. either will bring tears till I cannot breathe or self-inflicted heartache that you cannot conceive. I let other people's words getting my head dance around there until all good thoughts those are hard to believe. Then I wake up crying and depressed for the headache that won't let me rest. But when I finaly drag myself from my bed my poetry bleeds from me like the blood from my veins like you would not believe. It comes out raw,poignant and dark. Through tears, I read it later and think man that's stark. Editing is done it's more like a lark. On how to find your way out of the dark. This morning was different I tried to turn it around try to envision I world found, that I'm good enough to write it down. Pdm