When I was 15

When I was 15, I knew the end would come for me in 4 rings

Soon I would be ripped from under my mother’s wings

Thrusted into this cold world that I had yet to experience 

Away from the comfortable confines of my blissful ignorance 

That’s when the last of my rose gold lenses shattered 

I cut my fingers on its beautiful shards, oh how it glittered

Bleeding with false hope, I wished its batter better, but it never mattered

Nothing looked like how I remembered 

 My parents were no longer together

But I was still in a tether

I still had to choose, which colored me blue

Why can’t I choose myself instead of one of you two

For once in my life truly I didn’t know what to do

I didn’t know who I wanted to be

Some days all I wanted to hear was “me too”

And others I felt like I was the only one in the world, just let me be

But today I know it’s ok not be ok

Its ok to walk in circles and keep my feelings at bay

I learned to live in the moment 

And living in the past is potent