When I Was Four
I dreamt of a glowing blue square
That seemed to look at me with an ice cold stare.
It chased me in circles around my own house,
But my screams were no louder than a mouse.
When I was seven,
I transferred to a new school
And I prayed they wouldn’t be cruel.
Because change was scary and new
And the people I knew were very few.
When I was eleven,
I couldn’t get up
Because my back had finally given up.
For years gymnastics to me was grand,
But now I just had to hope I could stand.
When I was thirteen,
I was afraid of the ball.
Stupid, right, why did you even play at all?
Step off the court so you don’t embarrass yourself more,
But I didn’t want to stop and take score.
When I was fifteen,
I felt nothing,
But at the same time I felt everything.
I couldn’t imagine a future
And to me, that was torture.
But now I’m seventeen,
And I’ve realized that I have highs and lows
And sometimes life just blows.
And even though there might be too much to carry,
It doesn’t mean life has to be that scary.