When I Was Four

I dreamt of a glowing blue square

That seemed to look at me with an ice cold stare.

It chased me in circles around my own house,

But my screams were no louder than a mouse.

When I was seven,

I transferred to a new school

And I prayed they wouldn’t be cruel.

Because change was scary and new

And the people I knew were very few.

When I was eleven,

I couldn’t get up

Because my back had finally given up.

For years gymnastics to me was grand,

But now I just had to hope I could stand.

When I was thirteen,

I was afraid of the ball.

Stupid, right, why did you even play at all?

Step off the court so you don’t embarrass yourself more,

But I didn’t want to stop and take score.

When I was fifteen,

I felt nothing,

But at the same time I felt everything.

I couldn’t imagine a future

And to me, that was torture.

But now I’m seventeen,

And I’ve realized that I have highs and lows

And sometimes life just blows.

And even though there might be too much to carry,

It doesn’t mean life has to be that scary.