When I'm Drowning in a Sea of Lost Faces

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Life can be tough and people acknowledge that
But they don't realize how much I hide
Behind my curtain of lies
They see my shining smile and happy step
But all I feel is depressed and lonely
 
They don't see the little girl
Trembling on the inside of me
Scared of what reality is showing her
She just wants to be acknowledged
And shown that the world isn't such a bad place
They don't see the hidden tears 
Streaming down my face when I'm by myself at night
They don't hear the voices screaming in my head
 
They don't see past my upbeat personality
They see what I want them to see
They see the happy smile
The bubbling laughter
The carefree sprit
But I'm too scared to show 
How I truly feel on the inside
 
When I'm drowning in a sea of lost faces
The voices scream inside my head
Telling me I'm not good enough
I'll never be pretty enough
I'll never be in a relationship
I'll never be successful
I'll never be who everybody wants me to be
They urge me to make my body a canvas
The razor my paintbrush
They tell be I'll never be skinny enough
And the truth is
I believe them
 
On the inside
I fighting a battle that can't be won
The voices screaming at me
My self confidence lowering
My trust barely remains
Yet on the outside
Is a happy girl who wants everyone to believe she is ok
Because she knows what it is like
To feel worthless
Stupid
A failure
She knows and she wants to help
She wants people to believe she is ok
When the truth is she is slowly breaking
 
When I'm drowning in a sea of lost faces
Everyone believes what you tell them
They never push farther
I refuse to pull away the curtain of lies
Because I don't want people thinking I am weak
For struggling, for not being the person they think I am
I don't want them peeling me away layer by layer
Until I'm left vulnerable
Because I hate for their reactions to become the truth
That I'm really not ok
When I'm drowning in a sea of lost faces

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