I've been abused, broken, and hurt,
And yet here I stand above the dirt.
I thought I'd be six feet under by now,
But I'm not, I've just slimmed down.
I don't close my eyes to just fall asleep,
I close them to enter another reality.
I dream of things you couldn't imagine,
Because I need something even I cannot fathom.
For my heart aches and cries,
To go back to those summer nights.
I seemed happier then,
Do to reasons that I couldn't comprehend.
I guess now I can,
And my eyes have opened,
I'm starting to understand,
For my reality is a token.
A token taken towards the twisted distance,
Of which I wished I'd never witnessed.
I'm lying here under the new summers sun,
However in my hand I hold a loaded gun.
I aim so gently at my right temple and squeeze.
I missed and ended up hitting the trees.
I would apologize for my impulsive decision,
But I won't because it wasn't what I had envisioned.
I'd wished, begged, for the bullet to pierce my brain,
But instead, it went through my tire swing.
How did I miss? Isn't that the question we all want to ask.
I'm not sure either, I just take a swig from my fathers flask.
They wouldn't approve of me drinking,
I'm only a teenager overthinking.
I'm scared of death but yet I'm anxious to greet,
The one who puts us all six feet beneath.