where are you

you said

no matter what

you'd always be here. 

you'd be my shoulder to cry on.

my hand to hold.

but where are you 

at 1,

2,

3 am 

when im contemplating, 

begging for the pain to disappear?

when the sobs

rip through my chest,

and the sadness

is much to hard

to handle?

where are you 

when the noose is tied,

the pills taken, 

my wrists slit?

where

  are

you?