Where did you go?

I’m lost and it kills me that you are not with me. Where’s the person I used to know, how could you let me go. I feel so alone. I’m scared to live but I’m scared to die. Where is the real me? I cry and cry and just let it be.This must all be a lie. I want to feel something but I’m numb inside, I wish I could erase my life and just pass by. I see pain and feel nothing and wander why. I’m underwater but I feel I’m ontop it. I’m at the bottom but don’t know what the problem is.