Where do I belong?

Confusion and frustration fills me up It’s like thick, ugly slime, It’s filling my head, my heart, and my stomach, Until I feel sick and can’t say a word. Am I that disappointed that I might have done the opposite of what I really wanted to do? As I look, someone yells out “You can trust me” But those words are so hard to trust. Pretending to live each day but actually dying inside slowly by the minute How many days have I spent being like this? How many times have I pretended to care but hate it all? Right from wrong, Black from white, I want color in my life But I have to figure it out Do I walk out those open doors? Or do I stay in my place as I have always stayed?