While U Were Gone...

(poems go here)

While u were gone.

While u were gone mom cried.

I had to be there by her side.

While u were gone when i was in 1st grade aunty died.

I crawled up into her hospital bed with mom on the side.

And we both cried as the line stop beeping and she had died.

I became a troubled child.

I was like this for long while

I still remember them taking u when i was 3.

They took u to jail.

When i was five u came back and put us through hell.

I remember when i was 6 mom kicked u out the house.

And u never came to visited us.

I remember asking her “where’s daddy?”

“I dont know, he belong to them streets” is what she told me.

I remember that  cuz that night  we didnt have nothing to eat,

cuz mom didn’t have enough money.

But we just sucked it up and shut up

While u were gone i became more angry and the trouble doubled.

While u were gone i had to get surgery on my stomach, and i could’ve died.

I remember mom crying by my side as she saw i was okay and alive.

Weeks later she took u back.

I dont know why.

But either way i cried.

While u were gone, your 2 oldest sons became young men.

While u were gone, your baby mama and 5 kids moved on.

I will always remember the memories.

The good and the bad.

Just know that u are my father but u will never be my dad.

I was happy u were back.

Stupid child.

How pathetic was i.

I remember u promising me u was gonna by me this and that.

u told me i was ur princess and mom was ur queen.

U deceived us because it was just a scene,

that we foolishly believed.

At the age of 9, i remember u hitting my 2 brothers.

Because they wouldn’t let my little brother play with them.

I remember u purposely stepping on my oldest brothers ankle.

Bringing him pain and taking him to the doctor and lying to the doctor.

Saying, he was playing a little too rough outside.

I remember mom kicking u out when i was just 10.

Because yall was doing too much arguing.

And mom was depressed.

Mom is my super woman.

She had a worser childhood than me.

Her mom was a crackhead and her dad was gone, he had left when she was born.

My grandma ended up taking care of her.

She made her better as can be.

Then she had a baby at 17.

She was on her own by herself.

Because u wasn’t man enough to give her help.

Because unlike Taylor Swift she didn’t know you were trouble.

But before i say good-bye, I want to thank u.

Because of u I am more grateful, for my mom and family.

With no fear I am able to stand tall,

not caring if my back is against the wall.

And now here I am,

I am no longer troubled.

I am now peaceful and humbled.

Here i stand,

independent, and a strong as can be.

Because that’s the way my mom taught me.

Because while, he is still gone,

I am finally able to keep calm and carry on.