White Shame

We walk a narrow line

Between our own problems and the fate of our past

We were not oppressed but the oppressor

I have never been more ashamed to be white

I crawl out of my own fears and insecurities

I know full well they seem irrelevant

They are real but never as real as others

I have never been more ashamed to be privileged

I befriend people who see in a spectrum of hate and fear

I just choose not to bring up topics of stereotype or prejudice

For I fear they will speak their minds’ cruelties

I have never been more ashamed of my friends

I see my country's choices over the past few years

Far more than a few actually

I cry at the bland speaking white newscaster reporting the facts, raw and real

I fret  I will never be able to lift the darker world’s pain from our light-headed decisions

I have never been more ashamed to be American

I’ve forgotten what patriotic is even supposed to mean, let alone represent

I’ve finally come to a loss for words

For coherent thought

Sometimes, maybe most times, for hope

I am ashamed at a problem I perpetuate, better yet represent

Solely because of my skin

A skin, a casing, a box, I would never proudly wear

I would gladly disown those who claim to be my fellows to become the other side of history

Pain, Punishment, Shame

I would take all the weight of our history on my shoulders

Let it crush me to bits

A human sacrifice of sorts

If only racism was dissipated

Those atrocities, which are far too often forgotten in our textbooks, haunt me

I am just another pale ghost

A cog in the machine if you will

But I scare myself more than others

I have never been more ashamed to be white