White Wolf

It first arrived in my life the day I was born

It wasn't there for me, God's breath still fresh on my skin

It was there for my parents, eyes clear, paw raised in reassurance as if to say “know this child will be able.”

It surrounded the doctors, gazing watchfully as they worked tensely on my spine and my brain

It was there at my bedside through six times in the hospital, sitting protectively in the stillness

Seeming to breathe to the beeping of the machinery that engulfed me

Years later it comforted me, surrounding me with its powerful, muscular frame and heavenly fur

Allowing me to bury my face in its serenity and cry until the pain soaked its coat

It was there in the joy of my wedding day, radiating love and pride

With a knowing look that said “see?  You were patient and I was faithful.”

It was there too short a time later as my baby boy died before my eyes

I swear I saw a tear roll down its muzzle as it whispered “I am still here.  With you, and with him.”

I've heard it howl at my pain, the injustice I face, the loneliness I've felt

All the while its never left me

Sometimes as present as anything before me

Often as a shadow, watching as a parent from the sidelines

Ready to dash in with a moment's notice

It's with me again, as I answer the phone

Palms wet and shaking

Expecting, fearing, ears ringing in clouded pain

It looks to me with patience and love

“Dear child, is it I who has said it is over
Or is it you, and those around you?

Do not worship your fears

For they are so quick to write 'the end'

When it should be 'to be continued'”

It will come to you too

In fact, it already has

You may not have noticed it

You may not notice it now

But it is there, clear eyes watching you

Protective paws encircling you in love

Quiet yourself and you will hear

The gentle breath, or even the piercing howl

Envelop yourself in its presence

And please, tell your children to keep watch

For its peaceful presence in their life

Calming the storms of the sea within them

I know you won't forget

When the white wolf comes to visit

You'll remember