Who Am I?

Who am I? 

I don't know.

But.  This is my story.

I'm 14, and i've seen just how mean lie can be.  The way it pushes you down onto the concrete and holds you there, making it harder and harder to fight back.  And to GET UP!  The way it stomps on your chest, pushing down on you, making your breaths more challenging each time.  Just breathe.  In and out.

In and out.  That easy right?

No!  It's easier said than done.  I told you.  Life can be hard.  It can be mean.  Agressive even.  Life makes it harder.  It makes it harder to get through it all. 

Who am I?  What am I?  How have I gotten here from there?  How am I still here?  WH

Why am I still here?

Simple.

I.

DON'T.

KNOW.

I don't know what or who I am.  14 years.  Life has beaten down on my brittle bones.  Making me even more frail than the day before.  And each day I ask myself.  Who have I become?

There was a time when I knew myself.  When I knew who I was.  There was a time when I knew my worth.  Then, who was I?  A child.  A happy little girl.  Hyper, and with many friends.  A girl just waiting to see what life would throw at her next.  Who was I?  I was a challenger.  I was a strong, brave, person.  I never let life get to me. 

What have I become?

I don't really know how to answer the question.  Who am I?  I know one thing at least.  

I am not who I was.  I've changed from then.  I know I am not that happy girl anymore.  I know I am not strong or brave.  I am not ready for life's games or curveballs.  I am not that fighter I once was.  

I am frail.  I am weak.  I am terrified at what life is to throw at me next.  I am ready to hide.  

Why am I still alive?  Why can't I go back to who I was?  Why am I different.  Why do I not know.  Who am I?  What am I?

These are the questions I ask myself day and night.  But have I gotten an anser? No.  So I am myself again.

Who Am I?

I don't know.

Do You?