Who am I

It's crazy how people expect happiness out of someone who's been tortured all his life through verbal communication, through his heart to his mind about things he can't control. Who are you to judge the shape of my head, the shape of my eyes, the shape of my teeth, the shape of my body, the shape of my lips, the shape of my nose, you don't know me. Look under the cover and might find a nice guy or a player that's been hurt so many times by any female that comes in his direction because his heart is so fragile. I don't cry with tears, I cry with anger from the fear of being talked about, judged, people saying " oooh, look over there, it's the sissy who cries all the time", no that's not me, I'm not having it, I can't take it. that's why I would rather punch a wall than sit there and lean on it with my eyes glistening listening to what people have to say. I refuse to be hurt by what any of these girls say, even the one i have today. One day she loves me, rumors spread around the school, now she hates me what's going on, no one can treat me right, what's going on. She's talking all the scribble scrabble saying" Oh my God you don't respect me, you hate me, I can't believe you did this to me, I hate you, you don't respect me, that's what i feel like you don't do, I don't even love you anymore, why would you do this? huh? Why? You don't respect who i am or my priorities, why would you do this, just stay out of my life forever. And if I choose to get heartbroken over it I'm considered the female, not the male, the one not wearing the pants but wearing the skirt, who am I? I'm that depressed brother with the suicidal thoughts going through my head, wanting to put a bullet through my own skull, who am I? that's who i be.