Who Am I?

With the dawn of a new day, I wake up, still dreaming.
Through the sunlight refracting off the morning dew, I see ocean surf pounding down on the sand.
I smile.
Walking through school hallways, smiling and laughing with my friends.
Laughing with my boyfriend as he listens to all my silly thoughts.
While he knows they’re inconsequential, he listens anyways, glad that I am with him. That I am here.
I am an artist.
An impatient one. I experiment with watercolor, trying to mimic the natural talent of my sister.
After ten minutes of mixing colors, adding texture and depth to tree boughs, I put down my brush.
And run to my niece and nephews to play games. That’s where my real talent lies.
I work to the best of my ability with what I have to create smiles and laughter on the faces of the downcast. And the happy.
I am a runner. I feel completely at peace jogging along rough dirt roads as the sun struggles to rise.
Seeing the beauty of the forest as it too struggles to wake up.
Feeling my worries fade away with every step towards the horizon.
I am a worker.
Cleaning my own dishes is laborious, but going to a friend’s and helping with hers is fun.
I do as much as I can so that others don’t have to stress and work as much.
I am a Mormon.
I try my best to do what God would have me do, to see the bigger picture in life.
I am a snorkeler.
I dive to new depths, searching among the sand and seaweed debris for that one white speck.
Loving the search, staying down as long as I can until the fins feel like they’re part of me.
But loving finding that important treasure - that one little shell that is the culmination of multiple dive’s worth of work - even more.
I am an Honors student.
I struggle through Calculus and Physics homework, doing my best to get it done and still understand it long after others have succumbed to sleep.
I push myself to the limit and see what I’m made of. Sometimes it’s not pretty.
I am a tennis player.
There is nothing more satisfying than tossing the ball in the air, lining up your racquet and slamming it down- just in time to see it fly over the net and hit the service box right where you were aiming.
Or just in time to see it miss.
I navigate through the game, matching skills and wit with my opponent and my partner. I win and I lose, and I learn.
And I am a dreamer.
Every day brings me closer to my Chance: To the day I can gather up a little family of my own, head to a little cottage on the coast and never look back.
Except when I do.
And then I’ll see a loving family, a beautiful forest home and the mountains of Montana calling to me.
I’ll remember the good and the bad, all the fights and the fun that made me who I am.
And I’ll look towards the future and smile.