Who I am not

Sat, 12/27/2014 - 12:22 -- ramekin

Location

Bleached hair, sleeveless shirt,
legs covered with a not-long-enough skirt.
She’s bad, that girl.
Rotten to core.
You don’t have to get to know her,
just look at what she wore
on Facebook, check her Instagram, you will see
she’s definitely not like you and me.
She’s a rebel, a wannabe.
One who’s rejected her culture and traditions,
and avoids anyone who is part of her community.

 

She thinks she’s so smart, oh, she knows it all.
She went to top schools all over the world
then looks down on us ‘normal’ people,
we’re not as educated.
We don’t have her knowledge and experience;
the space we occupy is wasted.


She never said any of this, of course she won’t.
She’s too clever to let herself be known
as the person that she has become
after she left home.


She was pleasant, almost angelic.
Would never hurt a soul,
religious but not a fanatic.
A tactic,
I’m tempted to believe,
to get what she wants
so that she can leave.

 

And left she did, only to come back
with her ideas and ‘freedom’
that she thinks we all lack.

 

She thinks she’s better than you,
but you should see how she treats her mother.
God, please grant me daughters totally unlike her!
Ungrateful brat, ‘anak derhaka’!
How can you not live only to please her?
listen to her!

 

"Don’t go outside, stay at home,
come straight back when it rains at night time.
So I can look at you and make sure that you are safe,
and you can be assured too that I am.

 

Why spend time with friends when you have family?
In the end family stays, and friends leave,
it will happen to you, for it has happened to me.

 

Love me, I have loved you.
And if you don’t, I will tell the world,
and they will make you
feel guilty
feel responsible
feel cruel
feel insignificant
feel like no one cares how you feel
or even attempt to."

 

Your mother has lived for you, so you will do the same.
You will not bring to this family shame.
For we have not taught you to be who you are now.
We have taught you to be who we want you to be,
so bow!
Be obedient, do as we say.
Really, how did you ever turn out this way?

 

I’ve never treated my parents badly,
neither has my brother.
Not in the past, present or future.
They have told me to stay at home and I did,
I did it for one whole day!
Should they ask me to stay for longer, I’m sure I will say
‘Of course!’
 

Really, what is the problem?
Yes, I’ve never been in your shoes, but I can imagine
that I would be fine.
So give them your time.
Your happiness is irrelevant,
these are your parents!
 

Why are you even panicking?
Having anxiety attacks,
depressed.
You should be celebrating instead!
 

Because you get to do the task
of taking care of your parents .
We didn’t get the chance,
our siblings did and never asked
for our help.
So we lived our lives until they passed,
but we would so live for them, because, well, we must!

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741