To Whom Am I enough

To whom am I enough
To whom am I NOT too rough
Around the edges—at least

I’ve got brains,
 I’ve got beauty ,
I’ve got heart
I’ve got beauty

Beauty-- I guess
For you
Wasn’t really skin deep

Stricken in my own realm of hubris
I failed to realize
The picture
You hid behind those eyes

When Coco asked Troy
Will I be your Jackie or Marilyn tonight?
Like you he pretended to not hear
Like the echoes alone penetrated his ears

He heard her clear enough
But truth is
Both parties would have preferred
That the question be:

Will I---- your dark-skinned girlfriend
Be on your arm as your Jackie
Or  at a distance-smiling at you
As your Marilyn?

Bizarre to think to even question
After two years
That I’d still be indecisive
As to whether
I should wait to be introduced
Or do the introducing myself

I could never be yellow boned or mixed
Or even Instagram model thick
Sometimes I feel like it’s only on there
Do men appreciate a dark-skinned chick

Know your place in that man’s life
Baby——Girl
Before you find yourself
Giving more than enough

Of all the times
I’d drop everything
Out-doing myself each time
To be there
Be there for you

A stranger could’ve bet millions
That in return
The treatment
Would be mutual too

All because everyday of my life
I yearned &  lived to earn
The right to be enough

For him, her, them,YOU
For YOU
For YOU to forget
Forget so easily

Easily enough
That you’d call me out of my name
One too many
Yet twice forgiven

Over and over again
For me to forget
So easily
That I allowed you
To convince me

To destroy the greatest entity
Of US
Something so little but great
Great alone

Because it was a combination of US
Just greater in numbers
Yet shamelessly mistreated by US
So little in thought

Forgiving of you
I am more
Than I am towards
 Myself

Because the goal was to be enough
Continuously
I compromised
Just to be enough

Never was I enough
To keep as a daughter
Nor respected as a girlfriend

Whether a thick -body
Or a slim Jim
Or a Nose big enough
For a wide brim

Next time
Before I fix my mouth
To ask the question
 To whom am I enough?

I’ll remind myself that
To the man above
I was golden
Always have been
Always will

So there is no doubt
In my mind
That the gold-seeker
Will come my way
At the right time