to whom it may concern

i.

to who it may concern,

when we met, i was 12

i think. i can't remember. the

memories that were meant to be

mine from ages 12 to 14 are

scattered and fractured because of you. 

(this wasn't meant to come off as 

accusatory, though there is blame.)

to whom it may concern, 

you would not recognize me. i am three years

later. i am no longer a kid. i am a

man now.

(at least i tell myself that.)

to whom it may concern, 

you once said that i was

manipulative-scum-beneath-your-feet.

i was a kid. i'm sorry. i was a kid

and  i wish desperately i could take it back. 

(i used to want to break your bones but

now i'm just tired and sorry.)

to whom it may concern,

my name is three years later. i want

apologies. i want answers.

(who just does something like that to someone?)

ii.

to whom it may concern,

i hope that the me you meet is the

me i'm proud of. i hope that

the me you meet can

love you correctly.

(i'm scared that i'm not that me yet.)

to whom it may concern,

i am like a battery. at times i

am full and can give others more

energy. sometimes i need

to be alone and recharge. 

(please plug me into your wall and be patient.)

to whom it may concern,

sometimes bad things happen to 

us when we're children. i know 

that. you can't change my past.

(i won't try to change yours.)

to whom it may concern,

while i am writing to you with my

mind in the past, i hope my

future is one where i can put

down my pencil and stop reminiscing. 

(yours until we meet,)