Why?

Those who think of me think of imagination, beauty, and freedom.

Yet all I see looking back, are hollow eyes staring vacantly ahead,

searching for a glimmer of hope in a world full of desolation.

A face too round, too large and too pale.

Lips agape, gasping for precious air, struggling to keep oxygen flowing.

Ears sticking out just a hair too far, and hair that is always in the way.

Life starts to feel bleak, like an old silent film.

No sounds are heard, no words spoken.

People seeing, but not understanding.

Drowning in my own self loathing, begging for help.

The moment I take a breath to scream I disappear forever.

Sinking into an abyss of agony, struggling to keep a smile plastered on.

I keep going forward, but the chains are wrapped around me, gripping my heart,

those bonds holding me here in my black and white world.
There was color once, but long since has it faded away.

Sometimes I try and remember what it was like.

Love, joy and peace.

That feeling of happiness just outside my reach, yet always unobtainable.

I wonder if things could be different.

I wonder if the innocent I once was could have grown if it weren’t for them.

Would I have been someone good?

Someone kind and gentle?

Why did the demons in my heart take over?

Why am I left wondering, stuck in my own never ending story?

There should be help

There should be light.

So why am I left behind?