Why?

I look at the expression on my mothers face

As i drop the blade

The end making a loud sound

Tears are running down my face

As she looks like she wants to throw up

I never wanted her to find out

I never wanted my mom to walk in on her child hurting

I feel the blood rushing down my wrist

As i drop my body completely

You can see the other scars

I was crying for so long

But now i'm silenced

My body feels numb and helpless

I hear her start to scream

“Why? WHY!”

Her voice sounds like a distant memory

I can’t seem to find my voice as she starts to call the hospital

She starts to bandage my wrist

My body feels paralyzed

I can’t seem to move my mouth

I wanna tell her i'm sorry

I wanna say and speak my truth

But the words seem to leave my mouth before i say them

Millions of thoughts in my head

I don’t remember how it got this bad

For her

My dearest mother

To walk in on such a scene

Blood staining the once clean clothes

My bracelets with dried crimson

I wanted to tell someone

I really did

“I'm sorry, mom.”

“I slid.”