Why Do I ?

Why do I constantly blame myself for the trouble that happened in my life ?

Why do I constantly remind my self that your not here for me ?

Why do I think it's my fault, finally a question that no one can answer.

Why do you let me do it, I don't know why this has such a hold on me could you please tell me I've been wondering my whole life, but I still never figured why I'm still waiting to know why I am always thinking about the past that never did exist for me, like the time when you held me in your arms and said "That's my little girl." or like the time you taught me how to ride a bike. How about the time when I started my first day of kindergarten ? What about all those times that were basically robbed form you and I that we can never share again. It' s a sad thing to think about is it not? I just can't get over the fact that you didn't appreciate us. maybe it's not your fault maybe it is my fault, because if I would have went out of MY way to give you a telephone call or a text message then maybe just maybe you would have responded. Maybe you wouldn't have and all that effort would have been for nothing I don't know. Maybe truly on the inside I'm DYING for you to get to know the young lady that I have come to be and I'm just acting like I don't care. I don't know. Maybe one day I can get over the fact that you "didn't want me" and become your "little girl" but for now we are just two strangers with the same blood coursing threw our veins.