Why Do You Love Me Most?

The tears are pouring down my face

My lips are dry

And my head is pounding

I have the chills

And I can't breathe

I feel suffocated from my own thoughts

I know what would ease the pressure

I know what could make me feel better

But I couldn't dare

Bc I'm staying alive to make everyone else happy

I'm suffering through each day

Bc it's what everyone says is best

Bc I can't handle her sobs over my casket thinking it was her fault

And my mom losing a hand, she needs to hold on tighter too

And a sister growing up not understanding where I went

And my friends,

My best friends,

Giving up on themselves bc I was no longer there to believe in them

So I wake up each day,

And I take a breath

And I try to beat what the day gives me

Even tho,

It might kill me.