Why Don't You Write Anymore?

A scratch on paper is a scar unhealed on my heart

The ink stings as blood

     it seeps through pages and stains clothes...and I can't erase the color or the pain

A promise was made--that I have since broken

     forever contradicting myself in the name of you

"Don't waste any more pages on a lost cause. Your time and craft is too precious to waste on a blind reader"

My words fall dead on paper

My notebook a graveyard, desolate and empty with no flowers of those who still mourn the loss of a hundred years

Yet I do

It still hurts to smile in your presence-- As if my happiness is a secret you do not deserve

My voice cracks and breaks as you step around me and glide on my heart like blades on ice

Little by little I am chipped away and stricken by a guilt you have not earned

But I'll give it to you

Just like these pages dedicated to a lost cause that my time and craft are tangled up in and yet all wasted on a blind reader

'Why don't you write anymore?'

Because I can only love once, but I can relive the loss forever