I am grateful for all those years I had with you

For all those days I didn’t whine and cry

I was just five

I thought you were too cool

But now I realize I am just a fool

To even think you cared about anyone but yourself

You’re just like any other human being

Narcissistic, greedy, but not caring or grateful for what life has given you

 

Me

Yes, I am just as narcissistic, greedy, not caring or grateful as any other human being

I didn’t know the difference between a lie and the truth

That’s not fair to me

Now that I know the difference between the truth and a lie

I know you didn’t love me...

All those nights I would wait in my bed

With curiosity weaving through my mind of where you were and when you’d be back

No you weren’t going to be back that night

Listening to my mom yell

And telling me everything is fine

It’s okay sweetie she says but I knew you were gone

Getting lost in your ways, even though you said you would change

 

I hear you and mom yelling in your bedroom

I was eleven at the time

My brother was four and was just as oblivious as me

I would hold him tight, squeezing his juice stained face close to mine

You were always at work, coming home late, falling asleep just after me

We had no time for you because you have no time for us

And you drained us of our happiness

Our hearts filled with anxiety as you walk in the door

Not wanting to set off your indignation for life         

 

But I’m almost sixteen and nothing has changed

With your anger still deep inside

You hide that other side of you as you hoodwink your friends

But not me

I know the real you and how you act

If you’re not careful you’ll set off the ticking time bomb waiting to blow up in your face

But you know it’s okay without you

Father