Why God left me

Hey there, who reads it 

Writing this poem, my thoughts here

Because I’m fine outside 

And just dead inside

 

Just Living pointless life

With no purpose, no goals, no love…

I wish that someone would know 

How broken, and unhappy I am 

 

There is no God, no eternal love

I’m so tired of it, my depression is so deep

I just need to release my demons inside of me 

I’m so lonely and so weak 

 

Just wondering everyday why I’m here 

And everyday thinking how I can die and kill myself 

Putting this knife to my wrist 

And I just need to push and pull and I’m finished 

 

But something or someone just stops me 

And after just sit and cry to the eternal emptiness

And hear stories about loving God…

But where is he in my life ?

 

I’ve been thru so much 

No one helped me, I was so lost 

Tried to kill myself so many times

Have done so stupid stuff 

 

Was fighting all the time

Using so many girls 

Hated  parents, friends and my life 

Was mad at God so much 

 

Killed so many people 

Killed their families, lives, their purpose in life 

Because I was selling drugs

I wish I could take all of this back 

 

Whenever I prayed I felt like i’m talking to the wall

I hoped that he’ll help me 

But he forgot about me

I hear that he loves me 

 

But he hated me 

It says that he forgives all sins 

But why I still feel all his weight on me 

I gave up, and it fees better when u have no hope, no God in your life 

 

I had god one shoulder and devil on the other 

And Devil won this battle, he won my soul and all my life

And there is no day goes by when he doesn’t try to kill my hope, and my life

“Why?” I always had that question 

 

Why it happened to me?..

Why God left me ?…

Why It’s so hard to live?…

Why I didn’t die that time ?

Why? Why? Why?

 

There is no answer on this questions 

There is nothing good in this life 

Just a little bit 

And , I’m about to give up….

 

I need helpful hand in my life 

I’m trying to change myself, but I can’t do it with my own strength

I’m falling again and again

And it gets worse everyday 

 

My health gets worse 

And I’m losing my sleep 

I can hear voices and can see the shadows at night 

And I can feel this dark presence laying by me 

 

My parents fighting more

My dad has problems at his work 

My life goes down 

My addiction stocked in my had 

 

I thought I’ll find hope in the Bible school 

And could change my life 

But like always he didn’t talk to me and everything got worse now 

I wish I could just die..

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This poem is about: 
Me

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