Why God left me
Hey there, who reads it
Writing this poem, my thoughts here
Because I’m fine outside
And just dead inside
Just Living pointless life
With no purpose, no goals, no love…
I wish that someone would know
How broken, and unhappy I am
There is no God, no eternal love
I’m so tired of it, my depression is so deep
I just need to release my demons inside of me
I’m so lonely and so weak
Just wondering everyday why I’m here
And everyday thinking how I can die and kill myself
Putting this knife to my wrist
And I just need to push and pull and I’m finished
But something or someone just stops me
And after just sit and cry to the eternal emptiness
And hear stories about loving God…
But where is he in my life ?
I’ve been thru so much
No one helped me, I was so lost
Tried to kill myself so many times
Have done so stupid stuff
Was fighting all the time
Using so many girls
Hated parents, friends and my life
Was mad at God so much
Killed so many people
Killed their families, lives, their purpose in life
Because I was selling drugs
I wish I could take all of this back
Whenever I prayed I felt like i’m talking to the wall
I hoped that he’ll help me
But he forgot about me
I hear that he loves me
But he hated me
It says that he forgives all sins
But why I still feel all his weight on me
I gave up, and it fees better when u have no hope, no God in your life
I had god one shoulder and devil on the other
And Devil won this battle, he won my soul and all my life
And there is no day goes by when he doesn’t try to kill my hope, and my life
“Why?” I always had that question
Why it happened to me?..
Why God left me ?…
Why It’s so hard to live?…
Why I didn’t die that time ?
Why? Why? Why?
There is no answer on this questions
There is nothing good in this life
Just a little bit
And , I’m about to give up….
I need helpful hand in my life
I’m trying to change myself, but I can’t do it with my own strength
I’m falling again and again
And it gets worse everyday
My health gets worse
And I’m losing my sleep
I can hear voices and can see the shadows at night
And I can feel this dark presence laying by me
My parents fighting more
My dad has problems at his work
My life goes down
My addiction stocked in my had
I thought I’ll find hope in the Bible school
And could change my life
But like always he didn’t talk to me and everything got worse now
I wish I could just die..
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