Why I did not Want To Be Me

There were days when I did not want to claim who I was. If I made that proclomation, then I was admitting to being the poorest kid on the block. 

I would of rather been Ash Ketchum, then to be me. 

If I claimed to be me, then I would of had to accept that my parents were drug addicts. 

I would of rather to be Sora, then to be me. 

I felt so ashamed. I felt so inadequate. 

If I proclaimed who I was, then I too had to accept that my house had no electric or no water or no heat. 

If I proclaimed who I was, then I had to accept that I had no clean socks for school and that my uniform had not been washed in weeks. 

I know that my struggles were not me, but we were joint at the hip. Wherever I went so did my overwhelming and disruptive life. 

It cast a shadow that was far bigger than I. It overtook my thoughts, my joy, and ultimately the appreciation and sastisfaction of who I was. 

Now.

I accepted to me. I accepted my past. I accepted it all. 

It wasn't a beautiful acceptance, but it was a step forward. 

I would rather be me more than anyone or anything else. 

It took awhile to be ''Raheem Curry'' 

It took a long time to forgive the crackpipes and emotional scars of my parents. 

It took awhile to acknowledge the lack of privileges and resources in my life and neighborhood. 

I am NO one else, but I. 

My scars and hurt and past ALL made me into the man that I am today, and I will never want to trade or give those experiences up again as long as I live. 

I am and will always be, Raheem. 

The name that my parents chose for me. 

In Arabic it means 'merciful' and merciful I shall be. 

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

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