Why I Do, What I Do

At night I think of everything that ever was
At night I dream of everything that ever could be
And in the day I go about as if I had done neither
What if I executed my dreams aloud
What if I lifted the mystery
The shroud 
The unknown in my own life?
I could retrace as I do
As I win and as I lose
On the spot asses my situation
Why would I wait until night
If I did well to say "congratulations"
I count up my pros and cons of the day
I think of new strategies 
But never employ
Nighttime is a big kid kids toy
I can do whatever, be whatever
But the sun confines me
Stuck in the loop like a honey bee
I want to break free
No more freedom just in sleep
I want to open my eyes 
And see my aspirations leap
Leap from my mind onto my life
From my heart to reality
I have spark and ambition
Why not max out duality
I strive to assimilate 
And assassinate 
And humiliate 
My subconscious 
I could do so much better though
I see the world through an optimistic scope
When I'm sleep or thinking
It's my life that I keep inside the red velvet rope
I am my own bouncer
I am my own list
That keeps myself out
That is the knife to my wrist
I kill myself everyday,
That I know what I want but deny
I am so murderous and lazy
I don't even try
I don't even vocalize
What I see with closed eyes,
I just live lies 
Lies upon lies 
And hope ill be happy when its my time to die
I change today 
And I change for the better
I will not just dream at night
But be a day-time go-getter!