Why I love you

I have six brothers and sisters and I love all of them very much. The one closest to my heart has to be my little brother Dylan and that is because he's gone and can't come back.

Dylan died nine years ago when he was five months old. There is not one day that I don't think about him. I can still remember his soft giggle. I would tickle him on his stomach and he would go insane with laughter. 

I knew he loved me because when I held him, he never cried. It was mainly because I always had a bottle in his mouth. If he ever fell asleep in my arms, I had to put him in his crib. When I laid him down he'd always yawn and wiggle around until he was comfortable. 

I had a special alarm clock, but it wasn't one that you couldn't wind up or reset or snooze. Dylan always got up early in the morning. He was ready to eat and I was ready to feed. I don't know why but anytime someone fed him he would always hold onto your finger and you could't get it out if you tried.

It surprises me how much I know about him when I didn't know him for a long time. I miss him so much and can't stop thinking about him no matter how old I get and hopefully never will.