Why I write?

The day I transitioned from rap to poetry is when I started acknowledging knowledge and morality which made the sinful mistakes I've made in my life painfully apparent. I quickly lost interest in a beat and the lyrics caught more of my attention. I listened to rhymes of demoralization and destruction of the mind. My mindset altered as I transitioned into a man.Which is an experience most expect a dad to help guide through. But in my case, had greater effect when he gave examples of what not to do as a man. Raised by my mother. Every other weekend with my father. Wicked tendencies in his manner. Starting to see the same ways in his daughter. I pray for my sister at nights. And with these hands held, I take a few more minutes to pray for myself. It seems like life presents adversity directed perfectly for your situation. at times. I guess that's how we become better people. But why must battle be uphill, When football was the main reason why my mother could pay for education, Why must I be the one who fractures his knee, and increase my mom financial obligations with my surgery. So sometimes i might mute my moms nagging with the vulgar music blasting from my earbuds. Or sometimes I may grind The D- i got on my AP Physics test into a tightly sealed blunt. And sometimes i give up on love and give into lust and stir it into my red cup. And although this eases my mind, my soul remains unsatisfied. And sometimes, when the clock stops, and my room is dark. And is all everything in the world is quiet, I can hear the cries of my soul, And I grab a pen and paper and write it.