Why I write

July 29, 2006

That awful day

Got up, it was sunny

Didn't see the clouds that loomed ahead

Went downstairs

Saw my parents, gloomy, silent

Should've seen the clouds rolling in

Should've seen it coming

But I didn't

They gathered us there

The preacher preached

Tried to give me a hug

I shrugged it off, defenses up

Couldn't stand all the crying

Put a wall up, stood there silently

Dropped my flower on your grave and walked away

Years later, I still can't say your name

Came close to killing myself

Cried many nights, curled up, sobbing

Force myself to get up

My family expects me to be strong

I carry on....but I still miss you

I miss you

I wish you hadn't been taken away

That awful car crash

I lost more than a brother that day

I lost a role model

I lost a kind, caring person

I lost so much more than just a brother

I write for you, Mike

You are still my role model

Writing saved me

I aspire to be as kindhearted and caring as you were

I aspire to touch people's lives like you did

I hope you are looking down from heaven

Proud of your little sister