Why I "Write" is Desperation

Why I "Write" is Desperation. I'll always need things that I don't need. I'll need a status. I'll need a Career. I'll need a Higher, unreasonably expensive education. I'll always need and it makes every molecule in my Body-- that I could better appropriate time and concentration to trying to Levitate-- ache. Are you Leaden--like I'm Leaden? Are you Mechanic--like they want me to be Mechanic? I'm sad that I died in 483 BC only to resurface as a fledgling who'll always need and who hates Gravity. Writing this organizes my realized sorrows and truths, So I do it. Desperation is as much apart of me as Blood, Bile, Memories. It's that cool scar you introduce to your friends when you're young with the phrase "wanna know how i got it?" I got mine from not being "right." I don't have the passion to be a human--the desire! I was born dead and have never known the warm, Divine feeling of having Life infused, vested in me. But, then, neither have you. You didn't die in 483 BC and you haven't been Living since. I want you to know the aching depths of my despondency. I'm a leaden, need having, Gravity hating, Scar baring, anti-mechanic fledgling... And Why I "Write" is Desperation.