Why Wasn't You Here?

As a Infant ofcourse I didn't have a recollective mind of where you were when you wasn't around with my small body and steady developing mind learning to manage how to live on this Earth that YOU and my mother brought me into. I didn't ask to be here but I am because of Two people that once loved eachother at a young age made the decision to conceive a young prince and raise him to become a elegant king. I've always known i cried and wimpered the long lonely nights. having my mother come to my comfort to come me down and look to only see that it was only her and NOT you. You chose to distribute but Not to contribute is the climax most fathers suffer willing to give the seed and leave all the responsiblities to the MOTHERS! As I grew bigger and older at the time of my toddler ages my mind was well equip to remember places and people even to mimic with they would say i had imagine and wonder where you would be. You came time to time but never permanently, told me you loved me but barely roughly, tell me all these faux stories and excuses of why you weren't around as i got older and remember all i did was frown. But then i remembered i saw you when i was around 8 but not side by side but face to face behind a glass wall talking to eachother from cord forms. Asking how im doing school and how i feel about you being in there, to be honest I HATE IT seeing my own father be caged in like a wild animal is this the person you became? So all those stories was lies and fraud you was really getting into trouble with the LAW? Why oh why did i had to be the one to experience this, i mean you say you love me but you lie to me you say your phone was all but that was foolery, because i was naive and was a child with no judgemental trait yet. Time went on and i got even older plus bolder, now i'm a teenager and i begin to rebel because it was destroying me inside it felt like hell not seeing you and even when you was released from jail it didnt make a difference because i started to resent you and didn't want to be bother with you. You make me sick, I despise you, I'm disgusted with you and you're nothing but a poor excuse of a man and i promise to you i mean every word that I HATE YOU. you walked in and out of life it was a free vancancy and you can come when ever you felt like it, NO, im not having it. I don't want to see you anymore and if you do show your presence it would be a rude awakening. I'm not sorry of how i feel because hatred was bound to happen before it started ], my smiles aren't big no more my happiness doesn't show no more. Only because that man that gave his seed to my mother to conceive raised a prince to become a king does that even have a mean. As I got older and it was time for me to graduate from highschool my grandmother said you would come after all you is her son i look around and around even on this happy and important night in my life you wasn't there but i kept a smile on my face and graduated, enjoying all the moments in my secondary education days of middle school and highschool and once it was over, after the pictures with family and friends. i looked more and more than my grandmother said you couldn't make....my smile turned to a straight face as i looked down but kept a slight grin to assure everyone i was alright and gave them hugs as we all departed ways. I don't know what happening but i guess it hit me the sadness has took over and i weep all the way walking to the car with my sister and mother. No phone calls or words no cards from you to say you would be here. Also, i got accepted into a college the next day but you wasn't around for the good news. But through all the stood ups and postpone moments as well this ceremony, Why wasn't you here?...........