Will I ever be able to breathe ?

I sit down, stare off and think. 

I think about what I could be,

No, what I will be.

If I will make an impact. 

If I will save someone’s life, the way I wish they would’ve saved mine. 

I wish they would’ve saved me.  

I wish I didn’t have to bear these blistering scars on my heart. 

I wish I would’ve been saved from that pain. 

I yearn for the nights that I am able to sleep without thinking, 

Where I sleep so soundly that I forget the pits of anxiety in my stomach. 

I wish I could help someone the way I should’ve been.

Where they don’t have to feel the way I do

Where they don’t struggle to wake up in the morning 

Where they don’t have to find the desire to be alive, because they have overcome the pain

That’s what I hope for,

Until then, Will I ever be able to breathe