wishes for a fear of death

 I wish they knew how sorry I was. 

I wish they knew what I think about, 

and how much I cry while I walk among the water. 

I wish they knew why I left. 

I wish they had an idea of how unstable I've been. 

I wish they had an idea of where I've even been sleeping,  

and what I dream about as the nights get colder. 

I wish they had an idea of what all I've sacrificed 

Later I wish she'll want to speak to me again.  

Later I wish he'll accept my payment.  

Later I wish I'll be scared again.  

Everyone will know some day though,  

when the tide is too high 

and the ground below my head is hard.  

Then they’ll all wish for me.