Wishing and Dreaming

Ever wondered how things could be in a different life? As a different person

Wishing and dreaming to be someone you know you could live with for certain

Yeah we all do it, and if you don't that's a fib

let me walk you through my dreams and how i wish to live

My mother has struggled all her life

no one there to help; just turmoil and strife

As my brother and I grew older, we also grew to understand

I was growing to be a woman, and he to be a man

But somehow it seemed as things only got worse

And me being a Christian I couldn't help but feel as if we were cursed

Oh I've prayed and cried so long to see better days

and even though they come, they swiftly drift their ways

I dream of success only for my mom;

yes to better myself but more solely for my mom

I love her so much; she's so strong she's so faithful

and i wish i could be like her but my strength isn't as stable

I see other families all rich, happy, or content

and honestly they're not even Christians so I ask,"what's God's intent?"

No one here to help not even my own brother

it was jus me, wishing to help my mother

My granny got dementia, and my mom lost her job

I only wished and dreamed i had the strength to turn to God

I cried so many nights; my dad in Atlanta on crack

while Im in college struggling, trying to keep myself on track

Yeah, I wanted to drop out, nothing was going right

but God still gave me the peace of mind to go to sleep every night

My classes were hard and I couldn't afford much

Luckily I had my best friends there; glad we always kept in touch

But even still they weren't enough, I began to envy them myself

I tried not to, but maybe it was a cry for help

I thought of dropping out but I didn't

I knew my mommy couldn't live with it

She is the person who kept me going

even when I felt oh so lonely

I lost my scholarship and my mommy was still out of a job

and still I wished and dreamed that i had strength to turn to God

I grew so weary and tired of my life; feeling so alone feeling as if i failed my mom

I only dreamed of a future, yep...living as a bomb

yeah i know thats kind of extreme

but its not something i wished; its what i dreamed

i suppose it was more of a nightmare

but my mindset slowly grew not to care

I tried turning to God, oh I believed he'd be there for me

because he said we are standing by the waters and we are a rooted tree

I love God so much i just wish he could change my life

But wishing for another life may not be the life that fits me, right?

I don't know so I just continue to wish and dream

hoping to later afford school, see my mommy smile, and graduate debt free.