Within the Mind of I

Within my mind there are wide Expanses of darkness. The Grand Canyon would be an Awfully boring place to visit I think. Thinking is overrated but… Undercooked you could say. I’m not a big fan of meat. We prefer salads really. You gotta watch those grasshoppers, Can’t trust them one bit; Them and their beady eyes. It’ll either be the grasshoppers Or the zombies, But either way I’m going underground! Within my mind, It’s easy to relate everything I’ve written. But, I fear I alone can make those connections. The cats play idly with a ball of string, Waiting for something more. Life is like a gun, And I…I…am the bullet. I feel as if I am a deer staring Into the headlights of an oncoming car Waiting for the end. “This is the end, beautiful friend This is the end my only friend, the end Of our elaborate plans, the end Of everything that stands, the end No safety or surprise, the end I’ll never look into your eyes…again.” I hear Jim Morrison’s voice Chanting softly in my mind. I feel as if I have died with my finger on the trigger of a .45. That reminds me, anyone care to play a little Russian Roulette? No? Mm, I thought not. “Five to one, one in five No one here, gets out a live.” Although realistically speaking it would be five to one, one in six. That same man, once said “Love cannot change your fate,” But, what if love is your fate? To love but never be loved? Once more I hear his voice, “Come on baby, take a chance with us I found an island in your arms, A country in your eyes, Arms that chain, Eyes that lie Break on through to the other side.” I greatly fear that I am losing my sanity, Rather what is left of it, to a wall. The man at the table is tossing the dice, And time has stopped. Luck is something I’ve never really had much of, Unless you consider the bad kind. Where I go, darkness follows. Within my mind I see connections That do not exist. Within the mind of I, I am alone. There is so much pleasure in pain. Another voice creeps into my mind, “I feel the universe functioning perfectly, But I am still perfectly locked inside myself. Instead of oneness I feel total isolation. Aloneness. Fear…Pain.” I claim to love pain, But I seem to run from it every chance I get. Like Johnny Cash and Trent Reznor, I hurt myself Just to see if I still feel. I greatly fear I am losing my mind, That I appear to have lost my sanity. But, the day I quit telling myself I’m crazy, Is the day I truly am. The giant bird is looking at me again. I fear that he is hungry, But he is merely fabric filled with Styrofoam. Everything has become so clear, so true. At first, I never wanted to return to reality. I really HAD broke through to the other side. As the bird flew above me, Waiting…patiently…for me to die. I am no easy meat, I accept death, I do not fear it, But I will not submit myself before I have lived. Can you see in my head, What it is I am trying to say? I greatly fear that you cannot. I fear that it is only I, who can understand this, And I fear that it makes me appear crazy. “Once I had, a little game I liked to crawl, back in my brain I think you know, the game I mean I mean the game, called ‘Go Insane’” Creeping into my mind once more, I force his voice out. The roads are narrow and many, Which shall I take, what shall I gain? Within the mind of I… I feel myself slowly dying. The rabbits are breeding rapidly. Humanity is culling the herd, Only…we’re doing it wrong. Can you feel my life force pulsing through us? Blood black as night, A heart…made of ice. The fires of Hell cannot warm me, for we do not believe. The mind of humanity is hidden behind a screen, Behind their televisions and their computers. The final time he cants, “Television skies, Television skies” In the mind of I, I remember what is lost… And what will be forgotten.