WITHOUT THE CHAOS

I change each year just a little, Shedding the skin I grew to know. That's part of growing up, You reap what you sow. I have freedom now, But I miss the structure of the past. Does that make me weak, To want something to last? Things look different to me, now, The world shifting around me. I recognize none of this, And yet memories only make me bleed. Is it wrong to miss the chaos? Is it wrong to want to go back? I grew up in fear, I was always under attack, I'm not sure how to exist without the chaos. I don't know how to make it through. I used to have dreams, plans, But deep down I knew. This was my fate all along. To forget myself at last. Everything has fallen apart; Turned to shattered glass