Without Me

As I laid there

Trying to find myself 

My inner me

The person who I’ve been truly 

Longing to be

I think back to the day 

The day that loosened the screws

To my valve of trust and love

Love that I could’ve had 

But let go in the blink of an eye

Yes I knew him first 

And yes I longed of being in his presence 

But me 

As well as many others 

I put someone before me 

Without even knowing it

I mentioned his name

And she acted upon those two syllables 

Not knowing that I had thought

I thought about being his one and only 

His New Years bliss

And yet I just sat there

I sat there speechless 

Hoping he wouldn’t reply

As fast to hers as he did mine

And suddenly 

All hope was lost

The words beautiful 

Slipped through his lips

Towards his fingers

And typed through the message 

The message that shattered

Not the old but the new me

For he hadn’t spoke to me 

And her still not knowing 

Knowing that I longed to be his

And for him not speaking 

Speaking the truth into the air

Instead of lying into the existence 

Hoping I wouldn’t know 

Truth is 

You wouldn’t exist

In her eyes

Without me