A Wolf's Apology

Things usually feel better in the beginning
But it didn't take long for me to see
What I was trying to do was never me

Oh how those lights danced and everyone smiled
And the music blared and they all praised
Your salvation is what everyone bent on their knees for
But my knees never fell down

Was I so wrong?
But my soul was right?
And I learned so many things
Of course I took them to heart
But You couldn't stop me

~God, can you ever forgive me for my yearning to be myself?
Cause I only want to linger around your light
But I don't want to be blinded

~'Cause I want to know I died
Trying to save every prisoner
 along side of me
So smite me if You wish.
But leave my people be

~Leave my people free

All Your leaders and all Your followers
They all felt dangerous
I was a wolf in sheep's clothing
And my fangs were making me bleed

I'd bite down my tounge
Before I could insult Your children
But my presence felt an insult enough
Wolves don't belong in a Shepard 's field

~God, can you ever forgive me for my yearning to be myself?
Cause I only want to linger around your light
But I don't want to be blinded

~'Cause I want to know I died
Trying to save every prisoner
 along side of me
So smite me if You wish.
But leave my people be

~Leave my people free

I'm just a bad mother fucker
Who tried to be a perfect angel
But falling feels more exciting
Rather than floating slowly

 I could have been the better son
And leave all these sins behind
But my darkness is the drug I need
To help me find sombody's cure

Oh God, I swear I tried!
But wolves don't belong to a Shepard
Thanks for all You've done
And I'll always speak to You

I hope you take the time
To answer this wolf's prayers

So when it's my time to leave
Know I did everything in honor
For the people like me

This poem is about: 
Me

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