Wonder ...

Jeremiah 29:11 New King James Version (NKJV)

¹¹ For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Wonder

Maybe sleep will conquer the feelings deep inside

but what if feelings are hidden deep beyond our awareness.

Are then feelings mobilized to trigger deep indifference

or are these just expressions of the certainty of denseness?

Many times I wondered and so often tried.

to understands one’s destiny or at least to see the pathway.

Now I travel slowly ... steps rather uncertain,

down a path I thought I knew ... on this final day.

Where will it take me ... I know not down the drain.

Some celebrate uncertainness ... like it is the path self-chosen.

I think it more to be a life ... that gave up gain

as it tries to unwind in emptiness where it had been locked frozen.

Now is the first day ... of the rest of my life

already planned with busyness like an ant in preparation.

Cannot give up the cycle that was trodden down with years

of undivided attention ... to survival’s salutation.

Jan Wienen