Wonder

I was only 8 years old

I didn’t do anything wrong.

We would talk on the phone,

And I’d see him sometimes.

When he would leave, I’d wonder…

When will I see him again?

Although he would visit me,

He was never scared to leave.

I would cry myself to sleep most nights, wondering…

Why doesn’t he fight for me?

I was 15 years old.

He lived 2 states away.

I’d always bug him to go visit,

Excuse after excuse, I would finally give up.

Which left me wondering, why doesn’t he want to see me?

On the phone,

I would have so much to say

I’d always try and talk as fast as I could

Because the next thing I knew,

“Alright sweetie, I gotta go.”

He always cut the calls short,

Which made me wonder, what was so much more important?

I am 18 years old now.

All grown up.

I’m doing everything right,

And I don’t talk so fast during our rare phone calls.

It bothers me none, whether I see him or not.

I’m all grown up now,

Which means I wonder about school,

Bills, social life, scholarships, work,

And everything that isn’t my father.

Because I spent my entire life wondering

What he’d do next.

I’m all grown up now, and I’ve learned some lessons.

Most importantly,

Don’t wonder about people who don’t wonder about you.