Wondering

Sometimes I wonder if all of my actions are mistakes?

Is my heart healing? & if so I wonder how long this takes?

Do I rush into things too quick?

Am I afraid of relationships because what if she’s not the right pick?

& that’s when I start to feel sick. 

I feel doubts like I want out,

But I’m not even in, what’s this about? What’s this that I feel within?

Is it too early to get serious?

With these illusions of grandeur & then I feel delirious. 

Maybe I should just wait & focus on myself,

Because if I don’t who will? Well no one else. 

I start questioning and second guessing. 

These feelings I’m confessing, yet I still don’t know why I’m stressing.

I feel like it’s so hard to start anew,

Especially after my history. 

I wish I knew what to do,

But my future will always be a mystery.