This Word Happy

Everyone keeps telling me to be happy. Honestly I don't even know what happy is anymore. I feel satisfaction and I know laughter, but what is happy? Is it something that can be found after it is lost? Is it something you can get in a day just by doing one simple task? If I do manage to find this thing called happy, do I get to keep it? Do I even want it? What is happy? I remember a time when I told people I was happy; yeah I was happy. But for some reason I can't remember what that felt like, that word happy. If I smile, does that mean I am happy? If I do things I enjoy, does that make me happy? Does everyone know what this thing called happy is? Will they share it with me? Or is it just a myth? This thing happy is what somebody created at one point; a story to tell children. A sign of hope to fight perhaps. Maybe it is was created to keep people out of confusion. When somebody asks, "How do you feel?" you say, "Happy." That's simple. Happy was created to be simple then. But I think it got complicated as time passed. Do people still answer, "Happy."? Should I answer, "Happy."? Maybe If I say that answer, the word will come true. This word happy, what does it mean? Does it mean the tears have gone for a walk and your short breaths are calming to a rhythmic pace? Happy, I don't think I like this word. Why do people say they are happy if this word is so complicated? Could it be that they actually feel this word, happy? Or do they say they are happy to stay out of confusions, like it was created to do so long ago? happy, will somebody make me happy? Can I get happiness from another person? Is happy a thing I could give to another being? Is happy a real thing, not just a myth, a word to fill a sentence? Happy, I don't feel this word, because I don't understand this word. Do other people understand this word? Am I different from the world because I can't comprehend happiness? This word happy should be erased. Then everybody would feel as I do. Not confused or empty, just without that word. We can be other words, joyful, pleased, content. These are nice words that I can understand and feel for myself. Let's make that the new happy. What is Happy? This word happy, it doesn't exist.