Words Are Hard

Words Are Hard

I am so mad at you.

This emotion is a blanket covering me up and I know once I take it off hurt is behind it.

And I want to forgive myself for all the thoughts of not being good enough-

I think there's two different parts:

Things I can control and things I can't.

You my friend fall in the I can't-

So I erase you for a brief moment and focus on me and my disastrous chaotic mind.

I mold it everyday to do better than yesterday and see myself tomorrow.

I have hit rock bottom and yet I'm still here.

I'm still here-

I step outside and I want to taste the sweetnness of the air.

What's the most pleasant about rock bottom is there's only up from here.

So I spread my arms wide willing myslef to catch all the pain I know my hands cannot heal.

And I put on my armor because I am a warrior and I know there will be days like this.

I can do this.

I loved you and I still love you-

And I can't.

So I know I have to let you go.

I can let you go.

The world is beautifully painful and I know I have surpassed trusting and am far damn naive.

But I know I can.

Michelle Megill