Words I Believe In...

The hard rain felt like him pulling me close

The grabbing and the pulling, that I hated the most

Booms of the lightning felt like he was right behind me

I crumble to the floor in pain, all the way down to my knees.

He hits me as thunder strikes. 

Is this really what love feels like?

He kicks me in the side and tears start tears shed

My face is a new color of red

My heart is broken, shattered even

Yet he says three little words and that begin to believe in.

Does it make it all better? 

The answer is no. It’s not as easy as opening a letter.

Pain, pressure and grief are all things I feel. 

He says he’ll stop my pain if I make him a small little deal

He slides his hands down my body and I try to pull away

I am no longer rested at bay. 

Inside I feel like a ship in that thunderstorm

He hits me again and I no longer feel warm.

I know this is wrong, but how do I say no?

He calls me nothing but a slut and a hoe. 

More tears slide down in little clear drops

I laugh because my mom would tell me, “Why didn’t you call the cops?”

He is still touching me in places I do not favor

Where is my life saver?

I cry and he hits me in the stomach this time. 

He yells “I love you” and I know I have to lie.

How did I let him do this?

Before I felt so much bliss

And now I am here, stumbling and afraid to walk out of that door

I am broken all the way down to my core. 

This is not love.

I have no butterflies and see no doves.

Instead I feel sick and ashamed. 

I am not the one who should be being blamed.