Words Long Gone

All those texts that made my heart skip a beat-

I never saved them,

And I am so glad

I never saved them.

If I had I know right now I'd be looking over them

Word for word

Longing for you again.

Yet another part of me desperately wants to see those words again-

To know what you once said

What you once felt

What you once wanted 

And see

If perhaps, someday,

They might apply again.

A part of me was afraid to save those words-

Afraid to keep them safe in my phone

Safe for my eyes to smile on again later

Always

Because, well,

That would mean something

It would mean I thought your words meant something

I didn't allow myself to save them

Not in my phone. 

Yet here I am

Replaying all I can remember in my head.