For Carrielee

Seven types of tears,
And seven types of rage.
I want this world to scream.
As it should scream
As I can’t scream.
“There was this girl I knew…”
Then I choke, the words dry up…
and it tastes of waste,
And rage and heartbreak,
And things that make me want to
smash into the night.
Kick the darkness away.
Carrie your pain to the river,
Throw it far away, hold your hand,
Watch it leave.
Wrap that woman in sackcloth and ashes.
I loved you
And had I known… I would have done anything.
But I didn’t.
And this burden, there is nowhere to set that down.
No river, no waiting hands, no recall button.
The gentlest trees buffeted the hardest;
You deserved to be wrapped in cotton,
And cuddled on cold nights.
The coldest night was the last.
I wish I’d been there,
If only to hold your hand.
And I want to believe in something more,
I want you to have something more,
You deserved something more...
This world should fucking scream.