Worth

Dear Vincent,

do You remember me?   You should.

                                                i’m the girl you took everything from.

                                                                well

                maybe You don’t remember me.

                i’m sure i’m no longer that girl i was when we met.

maybe You’re happy about that

You did this to me. You’re "The One." congratulations.

                i used to be happy. bubbly. so energetic.

then You happened.

                                do You know that most days i wished i could be dead?

 You did that. You did that to me.

                                                                i don’t think You realize

                                                when you stripped me of my clothes

                you stripped me of my sanity

                                               my happiness

                                                                i don’t think You realize

                                                when you raped my body

                you raped my mind

                                     my soul

                                     my inner being

                                                                i don’t think You realize the damage You did

You were the storm and i was in your path

                You were the robber and i am the robbed

                                                                                                deprived of what was mine

                                You were the bullet and i am the shell casing

                                                                                                left behind on the ground

                                                                i am nothing.

                                                                                                                                and what’s worse is

                                YOU DON’T EVEN CARE.

                                                                                i am broken

                                i will never be fixed.

                                                                                                i will never go back to the same girl i was.

for a long time that scared me

                                                                                until i realized

                       there’s nothing You can do to stop the sun from shining tomorrow

                       there’s nothing You can do to stop a war from happening

                       there’s nothing You can do to stop somebody from dying

                                                                                                                                                                so what can You do?

                                if You can’t do any of these things

what power do You really have?

that’s the day I realized… YOU HAVE NONE.

I have it all in the palm of my hand.

                see, I let you borrow it for a while but it’s mine

                                what’s mine must ultimately return

                                                                                                and it has

you have no power over me V.

                                I’m better

                                       stronger

                                                                there are no more little i’s and big You’s

I’m here. I made it. YOU DID NOT DESTROY ME.

                you planted a seed

                                I took a long time to sprout but I’ll be the prettiest flower the world has ever seen

you turned me into batter

                                mushy

                                                but after being in the oven for a while

I turned into a cake.

                                I’ll be a better cake than even Gordon Ramsay can bake

                                                                you rubbed me with sand paper for a long time

but now I’m smooth and polished.

                                                                I am here.

     see

                                                                                I realized

 when the storm is over

                                                       things may look bad for a while

                                                                         but eventually

everything is more beautiful and appreciated than it ever was.

                                                                (even those things that were in the path of the storm)

                                                I am better

I realized

           robbers get caught someday

          and the robbed

                                                (though they can’t get everything they lost back)

receive more in the end than you would even think

                                     I realized

that “useless” shell casing holds the fingerprints

                 your fingerprints

your mark will always be left on me

                                but

you will be found by your mark.

                                       I realized

that “useless” shell casing is actually pretty darn important

it means something

I mean something

I am something

I am important

you have no control over me

I have found my worth