Would You Rather

Dear freinds and family,

I don't know where to begin. So, let's start with how I'm feeling.

I feel scared. I feel frustrated. I feel tired. I feel... unmotivated.

I don't know how I will make it through life. I hate how introverted and shy I am.

I hate that I am so sensitive. I hate the way that I am. I hate that it is hard to talk to you.

My anxiety is eating me alive. My depression is holding me back. I don't know what I'm going to do.

I think I'm just going to go with the flow. See what happens. Maybe I'll make it. maybe I won't.

It doesn't even matter. I don't matter. No one matters. Nothing I say or do matters, except to me.

And it doesn't matter. What if I just stopped. Stopped going to school. Stopped talking to my friends.

Stopped breathing.

Or. What if I make it. I become happy, wealthy. I find the help I need. I find my soulmate, make a family, die happy.

I guess that's the real question.

Would you rather die happy, or die without the future?

Life is just a huge game of "Would You Rather?".