Wrecked Foundation

Wrecked Foundation

Eleven:

A young girl, hiding behind the couch, tears streaming, words hurl across the room her whole world shaken by the two people who were supposed to love her most.

Sitting, crying, shaking in front of the door, begging dad not to leave again, begging him not to walk out of your lives, begging him that her brothers and sister still need him there no matter what. When he left he failed to return for 93 days.

Twelve:

Loses her virginity in desperate hopes that a man will stay, will love and care. Twelve, feels her fist but not last heartbreak.

Thirteen:

For the millionth time watches her mom drink, take pills and pass out on the couch to deal with the pain.

Dad comes back, he leaves again, mom has guy number three, then four, then five move in and out and out again.

Fourteen:

Obsessed with the online world and being told by every man she meets that she is beautiful and worthwhile.

She is wanted, she thinks she is loved.

Sixteen:

Mom brings a man the age of 23 home from the bar not for herself but because it is the friend of the man that mom is in “love,” This man is promising the world, the word love is used as freely as the air we breathe.

 Plans are in the making to run away with him, he promises to always be there promises to never leave.

Locked in the bathroom because he quit answering the phone, left without a trace, screaming at the wall she vows to never try, to end it all. Tears streaming down her cheeks.

Mom says it’s all her fault the way things have worked out.

Told her father is a bad man who she will never see again.

Meets the next man, she works with him, and he flirts with her.

Seventeen:

Has her first child, engaged, graduates high school, moves in to a tiny, perfect apartment with no rooms just a crib, TV and a bed. It is a perfect place away from the chaos that her previous home life was.

Eighteen:

Married for the first time. Twenty-three so is he.

He isn’t committed, he didn’t know what love was to her. He thought it was a game he could play with her and all the other lonely hearts.

Nineteen:

Back at home, filing for her first divorce. It wasn’t what he promised, it never is.

Back to living the same life she tried so desperately to get away from.

Moves back in with him, he promises to change. Why not try again he seems like he is sorry, no one ever says sorry, he must really mean it.

Pregnant with their second child.

Twenty:

Regretting every choice she has made towards “love,” up until this point, she looks back at her short love life and can see the anguish and pain it has caused her, she is waking up to realize she is better than this endless cycle. The children she has brought into this world need better.

Divorced, on her own terms.

Twenty-one:  

Finally using the pain, heartbreak and sadness for fuel and empowerment. Finding herself and her own happiness, living on her own and making her own way.

Twenty-two:

Meeting a man who has felt the same pains who wants to get to know her first.

Getting to know a man who doesn’t walk away when learning about the past.

Learning a relationship isn’t just about the big things but also the small things like helping with the dishes.

Twenty-three:

He doesn’t leave no matter how hard he is pushed away.

He works energetically to pick up the wreckage and he still stays.

She works diligently everyday to not create the same environment that she has worked so hard to escape. 

Love isn’t only being there when someone is on the high note, love isn’t sex, love isn’t money, love isn’t texting someone, love isn’t an internet sensation or Instagram photos.

Love is the power to build someone up starting with yourself, love is trying every single day and love is something that is good for your mind, body and soul. Love is whole and love is helpful. Love is seeing someone through all the pain.