Wretched Sorry

I’ve heard you question my loyalty several times,

Most of these times I gave you reasons to cast doubts

Every reason cast a stinging emotional pain…

Pain that leaves your trusting heart with deep scars

I’ve seen you try to show me how peaceful you wish to be

Even getting me white when I stuck to my red and black

I’ve defined your right, changed your life’s perception

Still my ‘best’ don’t make you forget how dark, darkness can be

My pleasurable red shows you how much you have bled

In a moment, I became your safe heaven and your burning hell

Hip Hop music is the cranky beat that bangs your head

So I picked the words, rephrased then washed away beats

Maybe make you see me as non-violent, like I’ve always been

Thinking violence is the damage by my fist against your skin

Or the coarse vibration that the speakers subject your ears to

My insensitive self was too blind or maybe just ignorant

That I didn’t notice how much I choked you with my words

Asking you to stay close after every confusing line

Became too deaf to hear your snuffle

Then mistook your painful tears for delight

See, I know sorry is a polite word for Fuck that

But wasn’t it impolite to ask you to forgive a man…

A man, wretched as I am and still expect you to forget pain

To forget how many times your heart crushed to bleed

Sometimes, even saying sorry is being inconsiderate…

And at times it’s the only option… So take a moment

We are yet to get there; we have a promise to keep.

Fuck the painful past and let’s move ahead…